Miss Independent?
by spooksfan08
Summary: Set during the ep where Kate's apartment is burnt down. What did Alexis think to it all? Can Martha and Alexis make the partners see sense? Can Castle get Kate to admit she needs help?Sometimes you can be too independant after all. 1st Castle fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer I do not own Castle or anything associated with it. No copyright infringement intended or should be inferred.**

Fact v Fiction

Chapter 1

Kate felt sick at the thought some madman couldn't tell the difference between her and a character in one of Castle's books. She was nothing like Nikki Heat. She hung her head in her hands as she heard Alexis and Martha in the other room. Both women were laughing and messing about. Kate smiled slightly, she almost envied Alexis, her grandmother had died when she was a baby and her maternal grandmother had died before her parents had married. She had never had the relationship with her grandparents that Alexis had with Martha. She stared at her glass of juice that wasn't going to be drunk and sighed. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate Castle letting her stay after her apartment had burnt to the ground. She just needed to be alone to process what had happened to her, what could have happened if Castle hadn't turned up. She cringed as she remembered her best friend rescuing her from her bathroom. _Only Castle would find me naked in the tub, only him. Why couldn't I have been unconscious? _She blushed furiously red as she remembered Castle finding her naked. _Not exactly the way I imagined it. Not that I ever imagined him seeing me naked. Oh God_

_Xxxxxxxxxx_

Castle rolled his eyes as he heard his mother and his daughter laugh and play in the living room. He had no idea where both women got the energy from first thing in the morning. He washed his face as he heard Alexis laugh loudly, he had a funny feeling the girl was going to be an actress like his mother. He hoped not but the tendency towards melodrama was already there. Hearing only two of the women in his life laughing his thoughts turned to the woman who wasn't. He stared in the mirror above the sink and continued shaving. He hoped she was ok, that she had slept well. He'd resisted the urge to check on his best friend more than once during the night. The thought that someone wanted to kill her because of something he had written in a book made his stomach turn. _Couldn't the idiot see Nikki Heat was a character he made up? Kate Beckett was a real woman, a real police officer. Couldn't the psychopath tell the difference between fact and fiction? _Castle stared in the mirror as he continued shaving his face. He gasped as he cut himself on the razor. Grabbing some tissues to stem the bleeding from the pathetically small wound he cursed as he realised he was thinking about seeing his best friend naked again.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Kate! Hello" Martha trilled as she took a seat next to her at the breakfast bar. Kate smiled slightly as she continued to stare in the glass in front of her. Martha raised her eyebrows as she realised the detective was wearing one of her son's blue t shirts and very little else.

"Hi" Kate barely looked up.

"Gramma be nice. Kate has had a real rough time" Alexis walked to the fridge as Kate closed her eyes. She did not need sympathy from a teenager and a woman who should have been a pensioner by now surely.

"Oh" Martha sighed "Is that what they are calling it these days? Richard darling what did you do to the girl?" She turned as she saw her son approach. He raised his eyebrows.

"It wasn't him" Kate saw him smile as she met his eyes. "My apartment burned down last night. Arson. Someone tried to kill me"

"Kate!" Alexis gasped. She knew about the fire but she had no idea her dad's friend had been at home at the time. Castle rested his hand on her shoulder.

"You ok Detective?"

She nodded "No actually. I am angry. I want this creep behind bars Castle" She hopped off the stool "and you are going to help me" Castle nodded as she spoke. She walked away from his a few paces before realising that he was watching her.

"That is as soon as I find some clothes"

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Alexis hated maths. Really hated maths but she knew she had to pass the class so there she was trying to listen to Mrs Evans drone on about quadratic equations. She found herself staring into space as her thoughts kept drifting back to the fire that could have killed Kate. She sighed as she realised that her father loved detective Kate Beckett. She just had to get him to realise that before it was too late. _I mean Mom has been gone for years. She would want Dad to be happy, wouldn't she? That fire could have killed Kate. What would have happened to my Dad then? _She looked up abruptly as Mrs Evans stood in front of her.

"Miss Castle? Exactly what planet are you on today?"

"I am, er I mean I am" Alexis ran from the room pretending to be sick as Mrs Evans was left to wonder exactly what her normally hyperactive student was up to now.

**A/N My first chapter of my first Castle fic. Please let me know what you think. I am new to this genre (its only recently I found it on Alibi in the UK. What happened to Alexis' mother, can anyone tell me?) Also should I continue with this? Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer I do not own Castle or anything associated with it. No copyright infringement intended or should be inferred.**

**A/N Thankyou to the reviewer that answered my question regarding Meredith! Really helps with the plot. Thankyou!**

**Lessons Learnt.**

Becket sat at her desk. She was furious that she was being sidelined. Why did it matter that the case directly involved her? She could be just as objective as the others. She tapped a few keys on her computer as Castle sat at the desk next to hers.

"Detective?"

"Castle" She kept her eyes on the monitor. If there was one thing she couldn't stand to see it was pity. Especially from Castle. Afterall she hadnt asked to be partnered with him. The Mayor had foisted him on them. It was all Castle's fault when you thought about it. If he hadn't used his friendship with the Mayor to get a ride along with the PD she wouldnt have been the inspiration for Nikkii Heat. Then she wouldn't have been the one with a psychopath trying to kill her. Suddenly she was desperate to get away from them all. It was times like this she hated being one of a handful of women working in the department. She glared at her computer before getting to her feet and storming out of the room.

"Beckett?" Castle yelled after her, almost falling from his chair in his haste to follow her. She didn't look back. Castle shugged his shoulders as her colleagues glared at him.

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"So how long is Kate going to stay with us?" Alexis turned to her grandmother as Martha huddled next to her. Martha adored her only grandchild and was pleased the young girl didn't take after Meredith. She hugged the young girl as she thought about her words.

"Well" Martha sighed "I thought you liked Kate? Do you not want her to stay here?"

"It isn't that. I really like Kate. Why would anyone want to hurt her? Do you think Dad will do something stupid?" Alexis held her grandmother's gaze as she spoke.

"Sweetheart" She sighed. She knew the teenager had been sent home from school due to a stomach bug but she had the feeling the young woman was not really that physically ill. She knew she adored her father's partner and began to wonder if her symptoms were more related to how worried she was about Kate rather than any infection she had picked up.

"Kate is a police officer. That means she is going to make some enemies. As for your father. Well honey, who knows?" Martha sighed as Alexis stared at her.

"He's going to do something stupid"

"More than likely dear. Now are we watching this movie?" Martha pressed the play button on the DVD as Alexis turned and faced the television.

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Kate knew the guys were just trying to help. She knew Castle was being a good friend by letting her stay at his place when she was effectively homeless but she hated people thinking she needed someone to take care of her. All she really wanted was to be one of the guys. The same as she had always been. She leant against the door of the toilet cubicle as she willed herself to return to the bullpen. She had to face everyone and she had to catch the man that was determined to kill her. Sighing she heard a gentle tap tap on the door.

"Beckett? You in there?" She smiled. Jordan was the same as her. She wouldnt let the scumbag that was doing this win either.

"I'll be out in a minute"

"Good, because there is no way you are working this case"

"You can not throw me off this case!" Kate swung the door open to show Jordam staring at her.

"No" She smiled back "But I know someone who will if I say your presence is putting my team in danger. You were told to stay in the van. Did you stay in the vehicle? The hell you did"

"I" Kate didn't know what to say. Instead she nodded and walked out of the women's toilets. It had been an awful day and she wanted to go home. _Home? He even took that away from me. _She closed her eyes as she saw Castle walk towards her.

"Come on" He stared at her as she frowned. She looked away before he did. She didn't need to see the guilt in his eyes. He had created Nikki Heat but he wasnt the madman trying to kill her. She nodded once as she let him lead her from the building. She hated this, Detective Kate Beckett had never needed anyone in her life. Now she was relying on him and she couldn't stand it. If Castle had any idea what she was thinking he didn't show it. Instead he walked alongside her to the parking lot where her car was waiting for her.

"Hey Castle, you dont have to come with me" She turned but couldn't quite meet his eye.

"Sure I do" He smiled. She hated it when he smiled at her like that. "You brought the car, you gave me a ride this morning. I can't get home if you don't give me a ride" Infuriatingly he was right.

"Ok" She sighed as she changed her mind. She didn't hate it when he smiled like that. She loved it.

"So, you wanna get something to eat on the way home? I mean there wasn't really any time for grocery shopping. I haven't really got much in and I expect what I do have there has been demolished by Alexis and my mother" He watched as she pulled the car out on to the main street. She shook her head.

"You can. If you like but I'm really not hungry"

"Kate. You haven't eaten all day. Juice at breakfast doesn't count. Kate rolled her eyes as she listened to him chastise her. A car cut in front of them as she swore.

"I didn't realise you were keeping tabs on me. And for your information having a psychopath determined to kill you kinda kills the appetite" Kate kept her eyes on the road. She tried to keep the tension out of the voice as she drove. Castle closed his eyes. He hadn't meant to be insensitive but he was worried about Kate. Knowing how fiercly independant his best friend was a fiercly independant woman and the last thing he wanted to do was push her away.

"Your my friend. I'm allowed to worry" He flashed his best charm smile as she drove. For a moment he saw the hint of a smile on her face.

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Hours past as Martha and Alexis grew tired of watching DVDs and trying to test each others non existant psychic ability. In the end they had both gone to bed earlier than usual. Both Castle and Kate had been left alone in his living room. She stared at the screen as Castle returned from the kitchen baring two mugs of coffee.

"Here"

"Thanks" He knew she was itching to get back to the station. They had been told to wait until Esperanto or Jordan called. Until then they were to stay away from the case. Kate wasn't impressed.

"You're welcome"

"For letting me stay here"

"Thats ok. It actually helps me at the moment. Meredith is coming in to town in the next few days. Says she wants to see Alexis. You know, one of her yearly guilt trips to see her only child" Castle tried not to be bitter about his ex wife. He saw Kate smirk. She knew things hadn't ended between Castle and his ex wife just because they had divorced.

"How does that help you? Me staying here. I thought it would cramp your style where the lovely Meredith is concerned" Castle pulled a face as Kate tried not to laugh.

"Meredith and I? Oh no. Not again. Not ever" He stared at her. He loved the way she smiled and he was determined to make her smile more often. She held his gaze as she shook her head. "Meredith is Alexis' mother. Thats all. I can't get involved again"

"Why not?"

"Your the detective, Detective. You tell me" Castle stood and ran a tired hand over his face. He was worried sick about Kate. He blamed himself. The murder in his last book had been particularly brutal. He really didn't like the idea that his stories had been inspiration for a psychopath. He knew the only way to keep her safe was to make her think he needed her around. That might just stop her going off alone. Kate stood up and watched as she tried to process what he had just said.

"Rick Castle" She sighed. He stepped closer as the air around them seemed to become charged. _He is my best friend! Kate think! He is your partner! _Castle closed the gap between them as he held her gaze. He couldn't look away as she bit her bottom lip. He rested his forehead against hers as she closed her eyes.

"I" Castle was about to speak when both cell phones burst into life. Both jumped apart and grabbed their phones. Both avoided the gaze of the other as they answered the phones. Castle grabbed his jacket as they made their way out of the apartment. It was going to be a long night.

**A/N thanks for the reviews. Please let me know what you think. Its supposed to be how the main characters felt and a few missing scenes between what we saw on the episode Boom. May be a little AU from the episode. Let me know what you think. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer I do not own Castle or anything associated with it. No copyright infringement intended or should be inferred.**

**Tired**

Kate stared out at the night sky. She was exhausted. Sighing heavily she knew she would have to return to the station before she could go home. There was paperwork to be done. She closed her eyes for a moment as she contemplated how she would write her report. _Jordan is ok, Thank God. _How she had no idea but the whole case read like one of Castle's books. Only this time it wasn't Castle that had written the plot. She opened her eyes as she realised he was stood next to her.

"You ok Detective?"

"Yes"

"Jordan is going to get checked over at the hospital" Castle watched as Kate's eyes widened.

"I thought she was ok"

"She is. It's just a precaution. It's you I'm worried about actually" Castle watched as she smiled slightly. Kate wasnt used to having anyone worry about her. She met his eyes as she shook her head.

"Worried about me? You don't need to be. Trust me Castle I'm fine"

"If you say so Detective"

"I say so" She fished her car keys from her wallet as the sirens of the police cars leaving the scene. Castle nodded as they began to walk towards Kate's car. He rested a hand on her arm. It was clear how exhausted she was. Her entire body radiated exhaustion as he turned her to face him.

"I'll drive"

"I can manage Castle, thank you"

"Just this once Kate. Let me drive. I dont want either of us to get killed when you fall asleep at the wheel" She hung her head slightly as he took the keys from her. He had never seen her so tired. She didn't even argue when he opened the car door for her. He sighed. The case had been difficult on all of them but it had affected her more than she had ever let them see. He ran to the driver's side before pausing. He could see she was already half asleep in the passenger seat. It was then he called across to the group of detectives stood in the doorway of the apartment building.

"Yeah?" Esperato sighed.

"Is there any way Kate can file her report tomorrow?" Castle knew he was taking a risk "I just think she could do with a little time"

"The report is to be on my desk tomorrow at 1pm. No later Castle." The Leutenant sisged as he looked past the writer to the small car where Kate was sitting. He had known her longer than most of the men in the police department. Castle was right, the case was too personal and whatever Kate Beckett said it had affected her.

"Thank you" Castle sighed slightly in relief. Now the only difficulty would be telling Kate he was taking her straight home. He knew she was going to be annoyed at him for going over her head. But just this once it was for her own good. He sat in the front seat of the car and started the engine as Kate's eyes remained closed.

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Alexis stared at the fridge as she cursed her father for not getting the grocery shop done earlier in the week. Her grandmother was in bed and Alexis wanted to wait up for her father and Kate. She also wanted a midnight snack but the second part of the plan wasn't going all that well. She gave up on the fridge and opened the refrigerator. Sighing she pulled the tub of vanilla ice cream out of the bottom.

"Why are you still awake?" Alexis jumped as she heard her father. She hadnt heard him come back in to the loft.

"Dad" She turned, still brandishing the spoon in her hand. "Are you ok? Oh my God. What happened?" She sighed as seh saw Kate lean against the doorframe.

"We caught the guy that burned Kate's apartment"

"Thats good. Isn't it? I thought that was good" The teenager was immediately worried as she saw her father's friend leaning against the doorframe.

"Yes Alexis. That is good" Kate sighed. "Why is everyone worried? Jordan is ok, the bad guy is in the cells. Rick Castle gets to write another Nikkii Heat story without the fear that some sucker is trying to kill off the main character"

Alexis stared as she saw her father slump on the sofa. He looked guilt ridden and exhausted. Kate hugged her jacket closer to herself.

"Well I'm glad you caught him. I should go, to er. I am going to bed" She kissed her father's cheek before leaving the room. It was then that Kate noticed how upset Castle really was. Sighing she crossed the room to him.

"Castle" She sat down.

"You could have been killed. He wanted to kill you because of me" He sighed.

"Hey" She rested a hand on his back. "No, thats not true."

"If I hadn't asked to follow you around then there would have never been a Nikkii Heat book. If you had never met me, you would have been safe" He stared at his feet. "I am so sorry. This is all my fault"

"No it isnt"

"Kate" He rubbed his eyes as he tried not to think about how different the night had turned out. He really didn't want to think about how different the case could have turned out. Instead he tried to focus on how she was sat on his couch next to him. How she was safe and the guy that wanted to kill her was in jail. No one had been hurt. The possible outcomes all ran through his mind as Kate closed her eyes.

"Castle. It's over" She sighed "Although I could have completed my report tonight"

"You need to rest" Castle turned to her. Kate held his gaze as she reached out and brushed a stray tear away from his face.

"So do you Castle. Look go to bed. Get some sleep. I'll put my report in tomorrow before I go apartment hunting. You'll have your place back before you know it" She smiled as Castle ran his hand through his floppy blonde hair.

"Bed Detective? Are you trying to seduce me?" He held her gaze. The effect of his words were someone ruined by the yawn. Kate shook her head.

"You wish Castle. You wish" She stood up and held her hand out to him. He took her hand as he stood up. _She's your partner you idiot. She nearly died. You both could have been killed. _The warning voice in the back of his head was practically shouting at him to step away. Instead he pulled her in to his arms and hugged her for dear life. If Kate was shocked she didn't show it. Instead she wrapped her own arms around him as he held her.

"It's over. It's finally over" He sighed as he felt her nod against him.

"Yes Castle it is" She smiled into his shirt before stepping back. "So lets go to bed"

Castle's jaw dropped open as Kate realied how her words sounded to her sleep deprived brain. "You to yours and me to mine" She blushed as she stepped back. Castle coughed slightly before nodding.

"Of course Detective. Of course"

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**a/n please let me know what you think. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer not mine**

**Truth**

Alexis stared at the ceiling. Her mother was due to arrive in the next few days. Normally she would be looking forward to spending time with the actress but this time she felt as if her mother would be intruding. She knew things were strained between her father and Kate and hoped her mother didn't make things worse between them.

"Oh my God. Someone tried to kill Kate" She screwed her eyes shut, still unable to believe the horror of it all. "Oh God" Tears filled her eyes as she thought about how the death of her father's friend would have affected her father.

Xxxxxxxxx

"Kate" Castle shook his head as he thought about how close he had been to loosing his best friend. Staring up at the ceiling he had the feeling he wouldn't be getting much sleep. He rolled onto his side and punched the pillow. He tried to be content with the fact the three women he cared about the most were all safe and sleeping peacefully. He knew that there wasn't really anyway he could protect them from everything in the world, especially not Kate. Her job was dangerous by nature and she really hated the idea of anyone trying to protect her. It didn't stop him from feeling he had to try.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Martha needed coffee. She had decided to stay the night because she was still worried about her granddaughter. Alexis by nature was not the sort of child to take things personally. In that respect she was like Meredith. She sighed as she pulled her robe on. It wasn't just Alexis she had been worried about. Rick was on her mind too. He took things to heart. He was more sensitive than people gave him credit for. She made her way to the kitchen as she thought about her son and his partner. Kate had been a target of a psychopath. Her home had been burnt down. "When will that boy see sense? He's clearly head over heels in love with Kate" she muttered to herself as she turned on the kitchen light.

"Is he?" Kate spun as she saw Martha in the doorway.

"Thought you were in bed"

"I was"

"Oh" Martha smiled at the detective "Are you alright dear?"

"Is he?" Kate's brown eyes widened as Martha nodded. "Not that he has told me but I know Rick. My boy doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve. He pours it all into his writing. You've read his books. You know Nikki Heat is you. Have he read how he writes her? He loves you Kate"

Kate stared at the older woman in shock. Everyone knew her and Castle were close. They always had been, even if she had been annoyed at him being given the ride along by the Mayor. Now she didn't know what she would do without him. She continued to stare open mouthed at Martha as the older woman shook her head. "If you don't feel the same. Then that's up to you. All I ask is you don't hurt my boy. He had enough heart break when he got divorced. I don't want to see him hurt like that again" She made her coffee as Kate nodded.

"I won't hurt him"

"Good" Martha smiled slightly. She hadn't intended on telling Kate what was obvious to everyone else. But it was time the woman opened her eyes. She was a detective for goodness sake; she should have been able to see it. It was infuriating really. Kate stared at her.

"It isn't just Richard you know? My boy comes with baggage. If you get him you get Alexis too" Martha watched as Kate smiled slightly.

"Alexis is not baggage. You on the other hand" She smiled cheekily as Martha laughed.

"My dear!" She shook her head and walked up to her "Where Meredith was concerned I certainly was. You are not her. Thank God!" She waved her hand dramatically before walking out the room. She left Kate thinking bout what she had said. The detective sat at the breakfast bar thinking as she stared into the glass of untouched juice.

_Rick Castle is in love with me? How ridiculous is that? Martha is wrong. She has to be. No. It's just all the drama of being an actress that has gone to her head. That's all. Castle and me? Me and Castle? Really? I dunno. _She was so absorbed in thinking about what the older woman had said that she didn't hear anyone enter the room until Castle was right in front of her.

"Kate?" He looked worried. "Kate what is it? Are you alright?"

"Umm?"

"Are you alright? You are sat here in the dark alone. It's not like you"

"How would you know? You've not lived with me before"

Castle smiled slightly as he took the seat next to her. His eyes never left her face as she continued to stare into her glass. He was beginning to get worried. Kate Beckett was many things but quiet was never one of them.

"True" He smiled slightly as she looked up.

"You love me" Her eyes bored into his as she spoke. For a moment he was trapped. His brain seemed to stop working. For a moment he wondered when she had finally worked it all out. He had done his best to hide what he felt. They were colleagues, friends. He had never really just had a female friend before. There was always something else. But Kate was special. She was something else.

"Kate"

"Martha told me"

"Mother!"

"Yes"

"I see" He rested his hand on hers.

"She says I'm nothing like Meredith" She turned and stared into his eyes. He smiled back.

"Well that is certainly true" Kate smiled back as he spoke.

"Is the rest of it true?" Suddenly Castle felt he knew what the people they interviewed felt like. He slipped his hand over hers. The dark kitchen creating an intimacy that would otherwise be missing. He reached up and brushed a lock of long brown hair from her face.

"You've been through Hell in the last few days. This case, Jordan's abduction. My mother, your apartment being torched. The last thing you need is me" He shrugged as he spoke. Kate shook her head.

"I should never have run off on my own. I had to do things my way." She sighed as he linked his fingers through hers. "I couldn't risk you getting hurt. Or the others. It was me he was after. It was me he wanted to kill"

"It was Nikki not you"

"You based her on me. He couldn't tell fact from fiction"

"You know she's you." He sighed "Everyone does"

"So he was going to kill me and I couldn't risk anyone else being hurt. In the end Jordan nearly died"

"Miss Independent" He smiled as she rolled her eyes.

"Detective Independent to you"

Castle got to his feet at the same time Kate did. He wanted to tell her his mother for all her clumsiness had been right. He was in love with her. Something at the back of his mind stopped him. He knew his heart would break if he saw her with anyone else. The moment he had found out about her exboyfriend he had wanted to die. He closed his eyes as Kate reached up and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Castle"

"Kate"

"Yes?" She stepped back as she opened her eyes.

"My mother. She was right" He kissed her cheek softly. Half expecting her to slap him or laugh at him. When neither happened he frowned. Kate reached up and ran a hand along his face before pulling his lips to hers. The kiss was over in seconds but Castle was mesmerised. _She had to feel the same way as he did if she kissed like that surely? _Kate stepped back and began walking towards the kitchen door.

"Kate?"

"I'm still me Castle. I still work better alone. It's what I'm used to but let's just see where this goes? Can we just do that?" She watched as he nodded. A slight smile on his face.

"You don't have to be Miss Independent all the time"

"Detective"

"I can wait. I can take things slow" He watched as she smiled.

"Night Castle"

She left the room. Suddenly Castle knew he was going to be able to get some sleep. Just once, just once they had been honest about what they had felt. He knew she hadn't actually said the words. Technically neither had he but he knew she knew. For now that would have to be enough.

**A/N not alltogether sure about this story. Thanks for taking the time to read. I may write more Castle soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer I do not own Castle. If I did this would be on screen!**

**The Morning After**

Alexis yelped as she saw the time. _Why did no one wake me? Oh My Gosh the bus. I am going to be so late! Mrs Evans is going to be so angry with me! _Alexis grabbed her oversized jumper and sneakers as she inwardly cursed herself for not checking the alarm clock. She ran from her bedroom as she realised only Kate was up.

"Hi"

"Morning Alexis" Kate smiled. The teenager couldn't believe how relaxed the detective looked. She pulled on her jacket as she watched the older woman making breakfast.

"I am so dead"

"Why?"

"The bus leaves in like five minutes and I am nowhere near ready" She explained as she tried to find her maths book. "And my teacher Mrs Evans hates me already" The teenager shrugged "I feel another detention heading my way" She sighed for dramatic effect.

"You can't have a detention today. Meredith is going to be here"

"Oh yeah"

"If I gave you a lift, would you be on time?" Kate watched as Alexis nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah"

"Ok, in that case we leave in ten minutes. Enough time for you to eat something and if Mrs Evans gets on your case send her in my direction ok. I can't believe that old harridon is still working in the school. What is she? 100?" Kate smiled as she handed Alexis some juice.

"Oh 150 at least" Alexis laughed as her father and grandmother entered the room.

"Mother, I think they are talking about you" Castle interjected as both women began shaking their heads.

"Richard!" Martha laughed before slapping his arm. He gripped his bicep and began faining injury as Kate rolled her eyes.

"Come on, we have to go or it wont just be Alexis getting in trouble" She smiled slightly as Castle nodded.

"How come Alexis gets breakfast and I don't?"

"She is still growing. You are never going to get any bigger" Kate ushered the pair out of the apartment as Martha laughed. She hoped her chat with Kate in the early hours of the morning had helped. It was clear that both the writer and detective had feelings for each other. She poured herself a generous mug of coffee as she watched the three leave for the day. "Just think about what I said, please just think about it" Martha sighed as she wondered if meddling in her son's love life had been the best idea.

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Alexis ran into school with minutes to spare. Castle smiled as she waved and ran to a group of friends. He frowned slightly as she took the hand of a teenage boy that had clearly been waiting for her.

"She's growing up Castle" Kate smiled. She knew he was over protective of his daughter.

"Yeah, she's 15"

"Bet you had a girlfriend at 15 years old" Kate smiled.

"Yeah I did. And I remember what 15 year old boys are like when it comes to 15 year old girls" He narrowed his eyes as he watched Alexis and the group of teenagers walk into the school.

"So, if memory serves me correctly about the same as 35 year old men think?" She raised an eyebrow. Castle pouted slightly as she spoke.

"I am shocked. If you think I only want you for one thing then I am shocked"

"Just one thing Castle?" She smiled as she started the engine. He blushed at her words as he stared at her. If he was honest, he had thought about the just one thing for than once.

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The bullpen was alive with activity as Kate threw her jacket over the back of her chair. Castle flopped on his desk as the phone rang.

"Hello, Castle" He spoke "Oh, Laine. One sec I'll get Kate" He passed the phone to her as she raised her eyebrows.

"Detective Beckett" Kate answered. "Ok, thanks Laine. We're on our way"

"We?" Castle looked up.

"We have a case" She pushed her chair back.

"And it started at the mourge. That's a great first line for a book, dontcha think?" He follwed her. Kate smiled. It was just like the conversation in the kitchen didnt happen. In one way she was glad nothing had changed. They were still them. In another way it felt as if everything had changed.

"No Castle"

"Really?" He was kind of disappointed but couldn't help but smirk as Kate treated him exactly the way he had expected her to. She didn't act like the other women he had been with. _Thats why you fell for her dummy! He could almost hear Alexis talking to him._

"Really. Sounds corny"

"Oh" He looked up just in time to see the door slam in his face. It was going to be a long day.

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Laine started to write her notes as Castle and Kate walked in. She shook her head, it was clear something had changed between them since she had last seen the pair. She uncovered the head and torso of the corpse on her gurney.

"Hey"

"Morning" Castle smiled.

"What you got for us?" Kate folded her arms. She looked across at the body and felt her blood run cold. "Oh my God"

"Kate?" Castle turned to face her. She was paler than ever as she stepped back.

"What happened?" Kate stared at the dead body. _No! No way! It isnt him, it can't be him! Please God no! _Castle wanted to pull her in to his arms as he saw her shake her head.

"Brought in a few hours ago. Preliminary reports suggested heart attack but when I ran some tests I found high level of toxins in the blood that suggest poisoning" Laine stared at her friend.

"Murder" Kate answered. Castle was confused.

"I think I can say safely that this guy was murdered. You know him?"

"Know him? He's the guy that tried to kill me"

**A/N I was going to end this on the last chapter but have decided to add a few more. Hope that's ok. Please let me know if they are out of character. Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer I do not own Castle.**

**Who?**

"He's the guy that what?" Castle was having a hard time keeping up. As far as he knew only one man had made a concerted effort to kill his friend. What he didn't know was that it wasnt the first time Kate had been a target. She closed her eyes as she tried to ignore him. Breathing heavily she tried to settle herself. It was clear Castle wasn't going to leave her alone.

"Kate, that guy on the slab. He is not the guy that burned your apartment down. He is not the guy that fixated on Nikki Heat" He pointed at the door to the mortuary as Laine appeared.

"Are you two taking this case?"

"Laine do you know who that is?" Castle answered as Kate shook her head.

"Another victim. Another John Doe" Laine answered. Kate shook her head once more before walking along the corridor without another word. Laine frowned.

"What did I miss?"

"I have no idea. I guess it's the same thing as I missed. Get Eposito and Ryan down here. They may know what that was about" Castle stared after his friend. He knew this was one story that would not be getting in to one of his books.

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Kate was shaking by the time she got to the car. _How the hell did he end up in the morgue? Why now? I can't be here. I cannot do this. _She leant heavily against the car. She felt sick and hated the way her hand shook. _It's been five years. Five whole years. Castle is going to have so many questions. I can't deal with his questions now. Not now. Not after last night. He knows how I feel about him. _She dug in her pocket for her car keys before getting in the drivers seat. Castle ran across the car park as she drove away.

"Detective Beckett!" He yelled after her. "KATE!"

It was no use she was gone.

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Ryan and Esposito stared at Castle as he explained what had happened at the morgue. He was grateful the guys had come to collect him but they seemed as confused as he had done.

"She said he tried to kill her? You sure?" Ryan asked as he walked alongside Castle towards the morgue where Laine was still waiting for them.

"Yes I'm sure" Castle shot him a look as Esposito raised his eyebrow.

"Right" Ryan stared at them. "Neither of you were here five years ago. I was. I think I know who our John Doe is and if I am right, which I think I am I can see why she freaked out. It would have freaked me out too" He pushed the door to the morgue open as Laine looked up and smiled.

"Hey Laine, let's see who our mystery man is" He watched as Laine nodded. Her dark curls bounced around her face.

"Ok, but if I get the same reaction that I got from Kate I ain't playing anymore" She watched as Ryan ran his eyes over her. She pulled back the sheet covering the naked man on her autopsy table.

"Yeah I was right" He scowled at the corpse. "I said at the time if I ever ran into this scumbag again I'd kill him. Shame he's already dead and I can't see that promise through"

"Ryan" Castle stared at him. "Who is he and what is he to Kate?"

"That scumbag is Louis Patterson. He tried to kill Kate. Put her in the hospital for almost a week" Ryan watched as the three people in front of him stared. "He was her fiancee"

"Kate was engaged? As in engaged to be married?" Castle was genuinely shocked. She had never told him. Ryan nodded.

"How many types of engaged are there?" Laine stared. "You sure this is Louis Patterson?"

"Oh I am sure" Ryan glared at the corpse. "You see that scar? Just under the left eye?"

"Uh hu" Laine pulled her latex gloves back on and turned the body's face towards her. "Here, small scar. 2cm across. Old. Antemortem"

"I gave it to him" Ryan glared "He did a number on Kate. I hit him"

"You what?" Ryan had never seemed the violent type. "In those days Kate wasn't like she is now. She was my friend sure but she was with this guy for I dunno about a year. She stopped going out after work, stopped going to baseball, stopped training. You know how crazy she is about boxing and martial arts? How she makes sure she takes care of herself? She wasn't like that then. She was too scared of putting a foot wrong" Ryan glared as he spoke.

"He hit her" Castle could feel himself getting angry "He put his hands on her"

"Yeah" Ryan nodded.

"So they what? Split up? Kate doesn't seem the type to put up with crap like that" Esposito looked at his partner "She's kick his ass"

"Now she would. Then. Then he ground her down until the Kate we all know all but disappeared. If I hadn't gone to drop her jacket off after work, she'd left it in the station and I knew she wanted it. If I hadn't gone to their place, looked through the window when noone answered, she'd have been another friend who's funeral I attended" He narrowed his eyes as he remembered seeing Kate barely breathing. He remembered the thumb prints on her neck as he tried to check she was breathing. "Anyway this guy ran away. Not been seen since"

"Was he police?" Laine asked.

"No, he was a lawyer"

"Ok, you do know what you just told us puts Kate as the number one suspect?" Laine asked.

"No" Castle shook his head "Kate did not do this. Kate could not do this" He watched as both men stared at him.

"Time of death?" Esposito turned to Laine

"Between 12 and 24 hours ago. I'd have to run more tests to get a more accurate estimate on time of death.

"12 and 24 hours" Castle repeated "That proves Kate had nothing to do with this"

"Care to explain?" Laine folded her arms as she looked at the writer.

"Sure, she was at my apartment with me."

Laine smiled as Castle spoke. _Go Kate! I knew it! I just knew you'd see sense and jump his bones._ She nodded as both detectives began asking more questions and taking notes. Castle quietly slipped away and pulled his cell phone from his pocket. He was worried sick about Kate. He had to know where she was. He had to find her, her fiercly independent streak was beginning to scare him. There was so much he didn't know about her.

"_Hi, this is Detective Kate Beckett. Thanks for calling, if you would like to leave your number and a message I will call you back. Thanks. Bye" _Castle sighed as he heard the familiar answer phone message.

"Hi Kate. Please call me" He hung up the phone, he knew there was a very good chance she would not return the message but he had to hope.

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Kate sat in the car staring out of the screen. She had parked on the wasteland behind her old apartment block twenty minutes earlier and was still shaking. She closed her eyes as she heard her cell phone ring. There was no way she would answer it, she knew it was Castle. Instead she tried to forget the events of five years ago. She tried to forget the fire and everything else that had happened. When the phone bleeped she cursed Castle. Picking it up she realised it was a text message.

**{LOVER BOY DEAD. U R NEXT}** Kate stared at the screen as she realised she knew who had killed Louis. She knew it was a revege killing. Frankie Rogers had been inprisoned for murder almost six years ago. She had given evidence, Louis had been the prosecutor. He clearly thought they were still a couple. Sighing she started the engine. She had to deal with this herself, there was no way she would let Rogers anywhere near her friends. She knew he would target Castle, Esposito, Ryan and the others. She knew Martha and Alexis would be a target. There was no way she could risk that. She hit the steering wheel as she pulled out the cell phone.

"Castle? Its me just listen. Yes I am fine. Listen" She waited until the writer stopped talking "I am going away for a while. I need a break" She hung up the phone before he could argue. The tears that swam in her eyes threatened to fall as she swiped angrily at her eyes. _Five years later and I am still scared of him. Ridiculous Kate, get a grip. Oh God, if Rogers knows Louis and I split up he will go after Castle and the guys. I can't let that happen. I wont let that happen. I have to do this on my own._

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Castle stared at his phone. He had just spoken with Kate and should have been relieved. The conversation they had earlier that morning sprang to his mind. _Detective Independent. She's going to go after this guy alone. She's going to get herself killed this time. Oh God Oh God. _He was startled by his thoughts as Esposito appeared in front of him.

"Problem?"

"Yeah" Castle nodded. "It's Kate. She's gone"

**A/N anyone still reading this? Please review. Oh and sorry if some of my Americanisms are off. I don't live in the US.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer not mine**

**Lost**

"Where would she go?" Castle turned to Ryan as he walked along the corridor next to him and Esposito. Neither man answered, Esposito was still in shock that Kate Beckett of all people would have stayed in an abusive relationship for so long. Ryan just assumed Castle would know where Kate was. The three men silently entered the bullpen and took their usual seats.

"I have to call Mother, make sure she is there when Meredith collects Alexis" Castle ran a hand over his face. He had almost forgotten his ex wife was coming to town. _She certainly knows how to pick the best time to visit._ He shook his head, he had a complicated history with the mother of his child but thats all it was now as far as he was concerned. History.

"You think she would go to her father?" Ryan asked.

"He's away"

"College friends? She seeing anyone Castle?" Ryan was grabbing at straws.

"Jeez" Esposito sat at his own desk. "This guy was scum right? You said so Ryan. Now he's a murder victim. Now don't get me wrong but if his partner was anyone else we'd be looking at them as a suspect. Suddenly because it's Kate we are treating it differently?"

Castle couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was on his feet in seconds.

"You don't think for one moment?" Castle was across the room. Ryan stood between the two men. He had no desire to see both his friends fighting.

"Castle!" Ryan put a hand on the man's chest, realising for the first time there was more to Castle's relationship with the missing detective than just friendship.

"All I'm saying is he tried to kill her" Esposito stared at Castle. "You said so yourself Ryan. The guy did a number on her, now he turns up dead. Kate has run off, you have to admit it doesn't look good for her"

"She didn't kill him. You were not there when we went to see Laine. You have no idea how she reacted. Trust me I have never seen Kate Beckett scared before but the moment she saw that body on the slab she was scared. Terrified" He held the detective's gaze. "Kate Beckett is not a murderer. You know that"

"I know that. You know that. We have to find her before people start to think just that" Ryan nodded as Castle grabbed his jacket and left the bullpen. He had to find Kate. He just had to and it wasn't to clear her name with their colleagues. The longer she was missing, the longer he thought something had happened.

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Kate knew she should call home. She shook her head sadly. _Since when was Castle's apartment home? _She remembered the conversation from the night before. She could still oicture Martha stood in the kitchen telling her that Richard Castle was in love with her. It seemed unreal then and even more unreal now. She remembered what had happened the last time a man had been in love with her. She still had the scar on her shoulder, still had the nightmares that the life was being squeezed out of her. She leant heavily against the car as she tried to get the image out of her mind.

"C'mon Beckett, you are not the same person now" She breathed heavily as she muttered to herself. There was only one way to escape the ghost of her ex fiance. And that was to go home and investigate his murder. She pulled her cell phone from her leather jacket and called the one person she thought may understand.

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Castle walked through the car park outside the police station. He was glad that the sun was still shining. Kate had the car so he either had to grab a cab or risk the nightmare of public transport. For the moment he was content to walk part of the way home. It gave him time to clear his head. It was as he crossed the road to take him towards the intersection that his cell phone sprang into life. He answered is before checking the caller display.

"Castle"

"Listen, it's me"

"Kate? Are you alright? Where are you? My God, Kate" He smiled slightly as the relief washed over him. "I got your message"

"Just shut up for a minute will you?" Kate had been prepared for Castle to react this way. It didn't help though.

"Sorry. It's just I was worried. I still am"

"Can you do something for me? Look I know you want to help but the only thing you can do it leave me alone. It's too dangerous this time" Kate got into the car and stared out of the window.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He sighed as he stared at the shop window opposite.

"Castle, you tell me everything? You tell me everything about you and your exes? No I didn't think so" Kate snapped. "Look Louis and I were a long time ago. I guess Ryan has told you what happened. All you need to know is I didn't kill Louis. I never could. But I know who did"

"Who? Who killed him? I know it wasn't you. Even if you weren't in my kitchen with me last night I'd have known you could never kill a man like that" He pinched his nose as he walked.

"Thanks Castle" Kate smiled.

"I'm worried. Who killed him? You tell me you know. Do you have any evidence? Where are you?" He tried to keep her talking as long as possible. If she was talking to him there was a chance she was safe.

"Don't worry about me, just keep an eye on Martha and Alexis. This guy is dangerous. Please just look after them and yourself" Kate ended the call leaving Castle talking to the dialling tone.

"Why is the one thing you want me to do never going to happen. There is no way I am not going to worry about you. I love you, you idiot" He talked to himself as he hailed a cab. He had no idea why she was worried about Martha and Alexis but he knew if she was then there was a good reason he should be too. He cursed as he realised Meredith would be at his apartment by the time he got home. It was going to be a long day.

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Martha poured her coffee as she waited for Alexis to get home from school. She was not looking forward to her former daughter in law arriving. She had no idea what her only son had seen in the woman. Shaking her head she settled on the sofa to wait, there was at least another hour before Alexis or Meredith would arrive. She closed her eyes and cursed as the knock at the door became more insistant.

"I am coming! Oh my, where is the fire?" She opened the door and gasped as she swung the door open.

**A/N Is anyone reading this anymore? Please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer I still don't own Castle :(**

**Runaway?**

Martha tutted as she opened the door. Whoever was on the other side seemed very impatient. She sighed heavily and dramatically as she opened the door to see her son on the verge of tears. Her hand flew to her chest as she ushered him into the apartment.

"Richard? What is it? Oh come here" She pulled him into her arms as tears ran down his face. Martha was terrified something had happened to Alexis. Or Kate. _Thats the only reason he would be like this. Something has happened to one of them._

"Is it Alexis? Kate? Why didn'y you just use your key?" Martha sat beside him on the sofa. She had never seen her son so upset.

"I left them in work" He sniffed as he ran his hand over his tear stained face. "Mother I am sorry, I shouldn't be here like this. It's K, Kate. Sorry this is just not fair on you" He closed his eyes as he tried to stem the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Richard"

"Someone wants to kill her. Her ex fiance was found dead this morning. She ran away" He turned to face his mother.

"It sounds as though she is scared"

"I know. She called, she said I should make sure you and Alexis are safe" He watched as she nodded.

"Honey, I can take care of myself" Martha held him to her.

"She's going after this man on her own. She will get herself killed" He stared at the floor.

"That stupid, stupid girl" Martha shook her head. "Too independent for her own good"

Castle was about to defend her when Martha rested a hand on his forearm. He fell silent as Martha held his gaze. "Think about it. You based Nikki Heat on her. Essentially Nikki Heat is Kate Beckett. If you were writing this as one of your novels, what would you have Nikki do? Think about it Richard. Just think about it." Martha tapped her son's arm as she stood up. "I'll make you a drink while you think about it"

He nodded as she left him on the sofa. He was scared that something had happened to Kate.

"Nikki Heat would go back" He stood as his mother turned to him.

"She would what?"

"In Heat Stroke, she would have gone back to the scene of the orginal crime" Richard was walking up and down the living room. It seemed strange that less than 24 hours earlier he had been with Kate in this very room.

"Which was where?"

"I guess it would be the place where Patterson tried to kill her" He ran a hand through his hair. "Look Alexis wil be home soon, tell her to be careful and have a good weekend with Meredith. I'll call"

He was out the door before Martha could answer. She shook her head before returning to her spot on the sofa. "Don't break his heart Kate" She muttered as she thought about the young woman that seemed to have captivated her son for longer than most.

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Kate closed her eyes as she wondered why she was back where she was. It was almost as if the car had driven her there itself. She still felt a little guilty that she had abandoned Castle at the morgue. She shook her dark hair out of her shoulders and walked towards the door of the apartment block. She glared at the door as her cell phone began ringing. Kate cursed as she pulled the small phone out of her jeans.

"Beckett"

"You are not doing this on your own. Ryan found the link, I'm one street away from you"

"Castle, you have no business doing this"

"No?" Castle tapped his ear as he spoke on the hands free.

"No, you know nothing about this" Kate turned as she felt the cold metal barrel of a handgun dig in her ribs.

"I know Patterson was your fiance. He was the one who tried to strangle you. Frankie Rogers was the last person he put behind bars on your evidence" Castle continued talking as Kate fell silent. The rain was beginning to pour as she turned and stared at the man Castle had just mentioned.

"So I do know about this" Castle continued. "I will be there in a few minutes. Please just wait for me"

There was no reply as Rogers took the phone from her. Castle continued talking as Kate stared at the man holding the gun.

"Put the gun down" Kate tried to keep the tremor out of her voice.

The man opposite her smirked as he heard Castle's voice through the phone. Kate stared straight ahead, trying to work out if she had time to grab her own gun. The rain soaked her as she tried to blink her hair out of her face. She was terrified Castle would appear at the wrong moment and end up with a bullet through him.

"Detective Beckett"

"Frankie Rogers, now we have the introductions out of the way" Kate snapped. She narrowed her eyes at the man in front of her as tyres could be heard screeching to a halt. Kate didn't want to look, she knew who was behind her. She didn't even need to turn around.

"Ah Richard Castle" Rogers laughed as Kate cursed under her breath. "It seems we have the whole team here now" He laughed as Castle stared into space, realising they had both walked straight into a trap.

**A/N More soon, please review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer I do not own Castle.**

**Eyes Wide Shut.**

"Ah the famous Richard Castle" Rogers laughed as Castle narrowed his eyes. Kate continued to stare straight ahead. She knew she had to get the gun from the mad man in front of her. _One day Castle, one day you will listen to me. _She narrowed her eyes as she watched the man that wanted her killed hold a gun to her head.

"Hi" Casle stared at him "Am I interrupting something?" He smiled his best charm smile as Kate rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, as it happens you are" Rogers narrowed his eyes "But the more the merrier I say"

"Put the gun down" Kate repeated as she took a step forward. She tried to stand slightly in front of Castle. She was the police officer, it was up to her to protect him. She knew he had no idea why Castle had follwed her but she knew whatever happened now she had to forget how terrified she really was and try to keep him safe. She refused to turn, to meet his eyes. _I told him not to follow me. I told him to let me deal with this my way, now we are both going to end up dead. Pig headed idiot. He should be thinking about Martha and Alexis, not trying to be the Knight in Shining Armour. "_Put the gun down!" Kate stepped forward as she felt Castle stare at her.

"You wanna do what the lady says" Castle tried to act the hard man but knew he was failing miserably.

"Yeah? And why would I do that?" Rogers laughed.

"Because half the police department are on the way here" He answered as Kate finally spun round to look at him.

"What?"

"I called Ryan just before I called you." He lied as Kate raised an eyebrow. She knew Castle too well. She knew exactly what he was like when he was lying. She watched as she saw the flash of fear in his eyes. Getting away from Rogers in one piece, solving Patterson's murder and then retaining a sense of who she was was going to be more difficult than she had imagined.

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Alexis pulled her long red hair into a ponytail as she thought about the weekend she was supposed to be spending with her father. She had been looking forward to seeing Meredith for such a long time she couldn't believe the weekend had actually arrived. She looked at the jeans and t shirt laid out on the bed and wondered if she had chosen the right outfit.

"Alexis!" Martha called up the staircase. "Honey!"

"Coming" Alexis laughed as she ran down the stairs dragging her case behind her. "Ready"

"Oh Honey" Martha smiled as she looked at her granddaughter. "There's a phone call for you"

"Oh" Alexis glanced at the clock on the wall. Her mother was already late. She began to worry. "Who is it?"

"Meredith" She held out the phone as Alexis frowned. Martha knew what Meredith was going to say and she was determined that this time she was not going to be the one to tell Alexis her mother was letting her down. She cursed her son's taste in women as she thought of the disaster that was Meredith, not to mention Gina. She watched as Alexis listened to her mother and nodded slowly.

"It's ok Mom" She sighed. Martha shook her head. _It was not ok, it was far from ok. _Alexis closed her eyes. "Of course you have to take the part. It'll be brilliant, it could be your big break. Yeah. Love you. Bye" Alexis hung the phone up and slumped on the sofa.

"Oh Alexis, dear" Martha sat next to her. "I am so sorry"

"It's ok. She has an audition for a soap"

"Oh does she?" Martha raised an eyebrow. "Well that's, that's just"

"Gramms, please" Alexis turned to her as Martha nodded and hugged her granddaughter. "I know, but I hate seeing you upset"

"I'm not upset, I kinda thought it was going to happen. Where's Dad and Kate?"

"I think we need to have a chat about that" Martha watched as Alexis widened her eyes.

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Ryan sat at his desk drinking coffee as he thought about the way Castle had left the station. Esposito was staring at the white board as he tried to think about how the case had suddenly become more personal. The Captain had suggested Kate be included as a suspect until otherwise proved, but there was no way he could picture Kate Beckett killing a man in cold blood.

"Hey Ryan"

"Yeah?" Ryan looked up.

"How long have you known Kate?" He turned and walked towards his friend.

"Forever" Ryan ran a hand over his face "We were at the Acadamy together. She was top of the class, alot of the guys were annoyed that she was so far ahead of them"

"I bet" Esposito shook his head. "And Laine? She's known her for a long time yeah?"

"Yeah, years"

"Then why are we even considering her as a suspect? I mean you tell me this Patterson guy was her fiance. That they were going to do the whole white wedding, settle down and have kids routine but then he suddenly goes psycho and tried to kill her? I just don't get it. Kate is the toughest officer here. She is the one that most of the guys are wary of. I mean I have seen her in the interview room. She's unstoppable" He smiled slightly as he sat down.

"Yeah, but you know Kate now. She was with Patterson for a couple of years. I mean they always looked great together, you know. The whole perfect couple. It wasn't until a while later she changed. She stopped being one of the guys, stopped watching baseball" Ryan shrugged.

"Kate Beckett stopped watching Baselball? That's like saying the Pope stopped praying!"

"I know. Look Kate did not kill that guy." Ryan closed his eyes "She is lucky she isn't dead. I know he was hitting her around for alot longer than we all thought. No one saw it. I guess because none of us wanted to see it"

"So what do we do now?" Esposito leant on the desk as Ryan shrugged.

"Find Kate. Let her know she isn't a suspect. That she isn't on her own. See what Laine found on the tox reports and find the man that killed the scum" He nodded as if he had decided what he was going to do. Both men turned and faced the white board as the Captain shouted their names.

"Yes Captain" They both turned to see the older man looking very worried.

"We have a lead on Kate Beckett"

"Sir?" Ryan turned. The more people talked about his friend as if he was a suspect, the less he liked it.

"Apartment building, thirty minutes from here. Where she used to live. Car with her licence plates, a man fitting Rick Castle's description and gunshots fired. Go see what has been going on" He turned and marched back into his office as both men stared at each other before almost running from the room.

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"Open your eyes" Castle cradled her in his arms as Kate ignored him. She tried to concentrate on breathing. That was hard enough work without opening her eyes aswell.

"Come on Kate. Help is on the way" He hugged her to him as she finally gave in and opened an eye.

"He shot me"

"I know sweetheart, I know" Castle held his hand over the wound in her abdomen, feeling sick at the way the blood seemed to ooze through his fingers. He knew Kate was getting weaker and weaker as the seconds ticked by. The lifeblood was literally seeping out of her.

"W, what? Sweetheart?" Kate raised an eyebrow as Castle gave her a half smile.

"Should have called you that before."

"Castle" Kate chocked his name out as he kissed her forehead.

"Oh no you don't. You keep those eyes open. You hear me. Keep your eyes open" Kate bit her lip as she tried to do as he asked her.

"I"

"Help is on the way" He held her tighter, for a moment wondering if he could put her in the back of the car and get to the hospital faster than the paramedics could get to her. He blinked as the tears filled his eyes.

"I" Kate took a shuddering breath "meant what I said last night"

"I know" He kissed her again as the sirens could be heard in the distance. "I love you too." He watched as she closed her eyes. "Kate" He shook her slightly as she fell silent in his arms.

"Kate? Detective? KATE" He shook her again as tears ran down his face "Kate, please open your eyes. Kate? Don't you dare leave me. Don't you dare" He stared at her lifeless face as the paramedic ran towards them.

"Please Kate. Please open your eyes"

**A/N please review :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer not mine**

**Waiting Game**

Castle felt sick. He had never felt so scared in his life. _H_e sat in the ER waiting room hoping that any second the doctor or nurse would call him into the treatment area and let him see Kate. The longer he sat and waited the more he thought she was dead. He ran a tired hand over his face as he felt the presence of someone else next to him.

"Hey"

"Hi Laine" He kept his eyes on the floor as the petite medical examiner studied his face.

"You know something? I wish I had never told Kate about that body. I wish I had called Ryan instead" She shook her head.

"This is not your fault" Castle finally turned to face his friend. "You know how she is. There is no way Kate would have let this case go."

"I've known her like, forever" Laine shook her head sadly "But I never knew"

"Neither did I" Castle felt like crying. He knew he really should call Alexis, check Meredith had collected her. He had to call his mother, just to check she was alright but he couldn't move. His whole body seemed to be glued to the plastic chair in the waiting room.

"You ok? I mean were you hurt?" Laine watched as he shook his head.

"No" She smiled slightly as he answered "No, I didn't get hurt. She stepped in front of me, just as he fired the gun."

"Oh my"

"Point blank range. I mean I'm no doctor and I am certainly no detective but a gunshot to the abdomen at that range? That has to be bad. Doesn't it?" Castle turned to face her. For the first time in Laine's life she wished she didn't have a medical degree.

"All I know" Laine sighed as Captain Montgomery sat down "All I know is Kate Beckett is my friend. She is also the toughest woman I have ever known"

Castle nodded as Captain Montgomery cleared his throat.

"Sir?" Castle looked up.

"I know this is a bad time but one of my officers is in the ER and I need to know why"

"She was shot in the line of duty" Castle was immediately on the defensive. "She was saving my life. Rogers aimed the gun at me and she stepped forward. He shot her"

"You saw him pull the trigger" Montgomery stated.

"Yes"

"That's all I need to know" The detective got up and walked left the waiting room as Castle fought to keep the tears at bay. The doors to the treatment area swung open as Laine touched his hand.

"Here we go" She stood as Castle fought to contain his emotions. _This is it. This is the part where the doctor tells us she is dead. I can't do this. I really can't do this. _Laine gripped his hand as the doctor looked around the waiting room.

"Family of Kate Beckett?" The young doctor yelled as Laine held up her hand.

"Here"

"Ok, what relationship are you to Kate?" The doctor asked as Laine sighed.

"I'm her best friend, Laine and this is her partner Richard" Laine didn't think she was lying, just withholding the entire truth.

"Ok, well if you would like to follow me" The doctor led them to a more private waiting room as Castle closed his eyes and sent up a silent prayer to a God he wasn't sure he believed in.

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Ryan marched along the corridors of the police station. He was not happy. His friend was in hospital, the man who had tried to kill her and had already killed another man was still on the loose. He glared at Esposito as his partner remained quiet.

"You know something?" Ryan asked as his partner shrugged. "Kate is not going to die."

"I hope not" Esposito answered "But look, whatever happens we catch this guy"

"Yeah"

"Now, what do we already know?" He stepped towards the white board and tried to focus as Ryan took a deep breath and glared.

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Kate felt like a truck had hit her. The nausea that washed over her made her feel as though she was going to throw up but the pain in her stomach made her feel as though moving was a very bad idea.

"Kate?" She tried to ignore the voice that was persistantly calling her name. "Honey, open your eyes"

"Hi" Kate whispered as she refused to open her eyes.

"You are going to the OR in the next few minutes. We have to get that bullet out of you" The nurse smiled slightly as she saw Kate nod.

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"Is she ?" Castle couldn't bring himself to say the words. He knew he just knew she was dead. _No one can loose that amount of blood and survive. It just didnt happen. _He felt Laine squeeze his arm as the young doctor stared at him.

"Kate came to us in a very poorly state"

"I know" Castle answered through gritted teeth.

"She arrested in the ambulance but the paramedics were able to revive her. Unfortunately she lost a lot of blood" The doctor explained. Castle felt sick and was sure he had stopped breathing for a moment. It was only when Laine's grip on his arm became painful that he realised he hadn't died of shock the moment the doctor had said she had gone in to cardiac arrest.

"Oh my" Laine sighed.

"She's a very strong lady. The nurse is preparing her for theatre at the moment" The doctor smiled.

"Can we see her?" Laine asked. She was aware Castle was strangely quiet. He was always the outgoing one on the team, always ready to tease the others and always the first to suggest a poker game. She wasn't used to seeing the author at a loss for words.

"Yes, but only for a moment" The doctor smiled slightly. He had seen people react the way Castle had a million times before. None of this was new to him.

"Ok, well you go with the doctor. I'll call the station and try to get a hold of her dad again" Laine smiled slightly as Castle nodded. She ushered him out of the waiting room as she went to find a pay phone.

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The nurse wrote something on the chart at the end of Kate's bed as she saw the doctor usher Castle into the room. Castle didn't like the way she frowned as she looked at the monitor. He didn't like the way the oxygen mask covered Kate's face and how deathly pale she looked as he touched her hand.

"Hey" He whispered as she blinked her eyes open.

"You ok?" She chocked out the words as Castle nodded.

"Don't you worry about me" Castle smiled slighlty as Kate held his gaze. "You just get well again. Understand Detective?"

She nodded slightly as he squeezed her hand. The nurse stepped away from the couple as she prepared the preoperative paperwork. Kate was exhausted but didn't want to close her eyes.

"Ca"

"Ssh" Castle kissed her forehead as she fell silent. "Just get through the operation and I'll be here when you wake up"

Kate smiled slightly as the porters arrived to take her to theatre. Castle sighed. He didn't want to let her go but all he could do now was wait.

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**A/N Thank you all for sticking with this. More soon xxx Please let me know what you think. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer not mine. I do not own Castle. **

**Patience.**

Castle had never been known for his patience. He hated waiting with a passion. He hated not being aware of what was going on. Sighing he returned to his plastic chair in the waiting room knowing there was no point in asking the nurses what was going on. He just had to wait until one of them came to speak to him. He closed his eyes and briefly wondered where Laine had disappeared to.

"Dad?"

Castle's head immediately snapped up as he registered his mother and daughter were stood in front of him.

"Hi. Alexis, Mother?"

"Long story." Martha waved a hand in the air. "What happened?"

"Why are you not with your mother?" Castle stared at the younger red head.

"She had to cancel." Castle nodded. He had a feeling his ex wife would let her only child down. It wasn't an unusual occurance where Meredith was concerned. He tried to fight the anger he felt, knowing how much Alexis had been looking forward to seeing her mother.

"I'm sorry Honey." He smiled slightly as she shrugged.

"She had an audition. It doesn't matter. Anyway, what happened to Kate? I thought you stopped the guy who tried to kill her." Alexis bit her bottom lip as she tried her best not to cry. Martha took a seat next to her son and took his hand.

"Laine called." She explained. "She thought you should have someone with you."

"Oh." Castle took a deep breath, knowing the women in his life expected answers.

"Kate was shot. She's in the OR now."

"Oh my God." Alexis covered her mouth with her hand. "Who? Why?"

"Why I don't know. Only that the guy pulled his gun on me and Kate stepped in the way. She got shot saving me."

"Dad?" Alexis felt sick. It was then Castle realised how upset his daughter was at the news. He nodded as he pulled her into his arms.

"Ssh, don't cry. Don't cry. It's Kate. She'll be fine. You'll see." He just hoped he was right.

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Ryan was still trying to understand why his friend had been shot. He stood listening to Captain Montgomery as he spoke to the whole department but it still didn't feel real. He closed his eyes and tried to control his temper as he heard one of the junior officers talking about Kate.

"Excuse me?" He approached the younger man as Laine walked up to him.

"Ryan! Kevin! Leave him alone." She grabbed his arm as Ryan turned to her.

"He was just saying something about Kate."

"I know." Laine sighed. "He's a jerk, we all know Smith is an idiot."

"True." Ryan sighed as he turned to the Medical Examiner. "You ok? Don't normally see you here."

"I'm fine." She hugged her arms around herself. "I just left Castle at the hospital."

"And?"

"And Kate is very very injured. I mean it's bad. Castle wouldn't leave so I called his mother to sit with him." She shook her head sadly as her dark curls bounced around her face.

"She's not going to die." Ryan stared at Laine as she closed her eyes.

"Kate was shot in the chest. She is very badly hurt. They rushed her to theatre."

"She's not going to die." Ryan repeated as Laine opened her eyes and held his gaze. "I know her, she isn't going to let this creep finish her off."

"I hope you are right. I really hope."

"Hey Ryan!" Esposito almost ran up to them.

"What?" Ryan turned to face his partner.

"Come on, Rogers has been spotted. We got a lead. Hi Laine!" He almost dragged his partner away as Laine waved to the detective.

"Call me later!" She yelled after them as she watched them almost run from the station.

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Castle was growing tired of waiting. Kate had been in the operating theatre for a little over two hours and he was begining to wonder why she was taking so long. He closed his eyes, aware that Alexis was resting her head on his shoulder. Martha returned from her third trip to the coffee machine as he looked up.

"Gramma." Alexis sighed as she saw the older woman place yet more styrofoam cups of coffee on the plastic chair in front of her.

"I need it Sweetheart, even if you don't." She picked up one and pushed it into her son's hand. "Richard, drink this."

"I"

"Richard." Martha raised an eyebrow as he smiled slightly.

"Okay, okay." Castle took the drink from his mother. He didn't have the energy to argue over someting as mundane as coffee when his best friend was fighting for her life mere rooms away from where they sat.

"Why are they taking so long? Why has no one told us anything? Her father should be here!" Martha began pacing the room, waving her hands theatrically in the air.

"Sit down Mother, please." Castle was growing dizzy from watching her. "Laine has gone back to the station, Captain Montgomery had a number for her father. I think he is trying to reach him. He's away on vacation."

"Vacation." Martha huffed. "Vacation."

"Yes." Castle hung his head. "He's in Vermont." Castle looked up as he felt Alexis move away from him.

"Dad." He turned to see the young doctor he met earlier walk in to the room.

"Mr Castle?"

"Yes."

The room fell silent as the doctor took a seat in front of Castle. Alexis gripped his hand as the doctor took a deep breath. Martha frowned, she didn't like the way the doctor looked directly at her son. She didn't like the way she looked at her son with her eyes full of sympathy.

"Mr Castle, the operation finished a few moments ago. Have you had any luck finding her father?"

"No." He shook his head. "How is she? How is Kate?"

**A/N Please review. More soon. This was intended to be a very short story and is my first Castle fic. It seems to have taken on a life of it's own! Please let me know if I should finish it.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer not mine. I do not own Castle. **

**Eyes**

Castle stared at the doctor in disbelief. Alexis almost crushed his had as she held it. Her blue eyes wider than ever before.

"Dad." She glanced at her father as he continued to stare at the young doctor. "Dad, say something. Please."

"Richard." Martha dabbed a stray tear from her eyes. She hated seeing her son so quiet. So grief stricken. She remembered how he had looked out for her after her 'fiance' had died. She hoped she could do the same for him.

"She's" Richard stammered. "Kate. I mean. Detective."

"Yes." The doctor smiled slightly at the bewildered author. "Detective Kate Beckett had a ruptured spleen, she bled in to her abdomen and the bullet seemed to have lodged itself in her duodenum. She had a respiratory arrest, probably due to hypovolaemic shock. But she is a strong woman. Very strong. She's in the Recovery room and very groggy. But she is asking for you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, Dad. You!" Alexis smiled as Martha sniffed.

"Oh. Oh well. I. Yes well." Castle glanced at his only child.

"Let me introduce you to my son. The wordsmith." Martha shook her head as she looked at her son. "Well, Kate is asking for you. Richard."

"Thank you. Yes, yes of course." He ran a tired hand over his face as relief coursed through him.

"Ok well Mr. Castle. Would you like to follow me?" The doctor smiled as he led Richard along the corridor towards the Recovery Room.

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Laine stared at her autopsy report. Something was missing. She had no idea what but it felt as if something was missing. She closed her eyes and sighed, knowing that she had been as detailed in her examination as always. Louis Patterson had died exactly the way she had found. The murder had all the marks of a professional hit but she knew while Kate was in critical condition in the hospital there were a few detectives that would not be focusing on the deaths. She knew Ryan and Esposito would only want to find the man that had shot her. For a moment she felt sorry for Rogers, knowing the man was going to be caught, whatever happened. _I just hope they charge him with murder in the first degree as well as attempted murder and possession of a firearm with intent to endanger life. God I hope it's only one count of murder. I have to call Ryan, see what the latest news is. Castle would have called me by now if it was good. Shoot, I'll just go straight to the hospital. _She pulled off her latex gloves and began preparing to leave. She reached the door to the female changing room as her cell phone began ringing.

"Hi." She answered as she walked through the changing room door. "Slow down. Ryan, please just slow down."

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Kate laid in the Recovery room quietly wondering if this was what being hit by a truck felt like. She closed her eyes as she let the rhythmic bleeping of the machines lull herself in to a light doze. She wondered whether Castle was waiting for her, in a way she hoped he had gone home, in another she really really wanted him to be there when she opened her eyes.

"Kate?" She felt someone take her hand as she smiled slightly.

"Go home Castle."

"No." He smiled slightly. "Not while there are people out there that want to kill you."

"Don't remind me." She opened her eyes to meet him. "You ok?"

"Detective. It isn't me laying in a hospital bed. The doctor said the bullet did some serious damage."

"It felt like it did." She winced as she tried to move.

"I."

"I will be fine Castle. I am always fine." She raised her eyebrow as Castle stared at her open mouthed. "What?"

"You were shot. You have been in theatre for nearly six hours and you say you are fine! You could have died. I thought you." He stopped himself as he looked away. It was then Kate realised how scared he had been. She watched as he brought himself under control.

"Hey." She smiled slightly. "You don't get rid of me that easily."

"Good." He answered.

"You saved my life. Thanks." Kate felt him tighten his hold on her hand.

"You're welcome."

"Castle. I." She paused as he looked at her.

"Get some rest. The doctor said they are going to move you to the High Care Unit in the next twenty minutes. I should let you sleep." He let go of her hand. Kate missed the contact. Her brown eyes bore into his eyes as he stared at her.

"You should go home." She rested a hand on her dressings as he nodded.

"I will. When you've settled on the ward." He couldn't help himself, he kissed her forehead as her eyes fluttered closed. She rested a hand on his cheek, even though the effect felt a little spoilt by the IV line and infusion running into her hand.

"Castle, be careful. Please be careful." He nodded once before brushing his lips against her cheek. "I will. You just get well again. We need you back at work detective." He smiled. "I need you.." He looked away as his eyes clouded over. Kate smiled slightly as she nodded.

"You got me Castle. You got me."

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Ryan was almost tripping over his own words as he spoke to Laine. He knew he was talking too quickly but there was no answer when he called Castle. No answer when he tried to get hold of the Captain but as Esposito drove he knew he had to tell someone what was going on. They were driving at top speed towards the high street in search of Frankie Rogers. He had been sighted leaving the Wallmart store behind a young couple. Esposito had floored the gas as gunshots had been heard.

"Laine, get hold of Captain Montgomery. Tell him Rogers has been seen leaving the High Street. Two civilians are down but I think he is heading towards the hospital." He almost shouted as he opened the car door, running towards the injured man on the floor.

"Slow down. Just radio them."

"No, Esposito is calling the paramedics. I need Castle to know trouble is heading his way. Please Laine. The radios aren't safe. He knows where we are." Ryan barked as he landed heavily on his knees.

"Ok ok." Laine threw her scrub top in the laundry basket as she talked. "Ok. I'll call him. Be careful."

"I never knew you cared."

"Open your eyes then." Laine shook her head.

**A/n. Thank you for all the reviews. Nearly finished now.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer I do not own anything related to Castle.**

**Calls.**

Laine sighed heavily as she replaced her cell phone in her purse. For a moment she was unsure what to do for the best. Beckett was her best friend, she had known her since the day she had started as the ME. She shrugged on her jacket as she realised that Ryan would never ever call her as he had unless it was serious. She pulled her phone from her purse and almost ran to her car as she hit the speed dial number, knowing Castle had Beckett's phone.

"Hey, it's Laine." She spoke to the answer phone. "Please ring me when you get this."

She cursed as she realised that he wasn't going to answer the phone.

"Look Ryan is worried. I mean real worried. He thinks Rogers is on the way to the hospital. Ryan and Esposito are on the way." She started the engine as she prayed Castle was able to answer the phone and pick up the message she had left.

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Alexis smiled as she saw her father walk towards her. He looked as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Dad."

"Hey Pumpkin." Alexis rolled her eyes as he called her by the nickname she hated.

"The last time you called me that I was 7." She smiled as he shrugged. "So, how is she?"

"Tired." Castle hugged his daughter. "But you know Kate. She's strong."

"Thankfully." Martha handed her son yet another coffee in a styrofoam cup from the machine. Alexis raised an eyebrow as her grandmother waved her hand in the air. "Oh, a little caffiene is needed in this circumstance Alexis."

"It'll make you jittery." Alexis scolded as Martha shrugged. "Dad, Kate's mobile rang a few times."

"Oh." He pulled his own cell phone from his pocket as he listened to his mother and daughter discussing the merits of coffee. He narrowed his eyes as he saw four missed calls from Laine and at least a half dozen from Ryan. He ignored his mother as he read the text message. "Mother. Alexis. I need you two to do something for me."

"What?" Martha asked.

"Go home. Stay there." He watched as Alexis' eyes widened. "I mean it. Laine text me. No arrest as yet but Rogers has been spotted."

"He's coming here isn't he?" Alexis watched as her father nodded.

"And I need you both to be safe."

"Richard." Martha rested a hand on her chest. She felt sick at the thought the man that had shot Kate was on route to the hospital.

"Alexis is right. Laine and the guys are on the way too. Look I am going to stay with Kate. There is no way I am leaving her with that madman on the loose. I'll call Captain Montgomery, get him to collect you and take you to the precint."

"Dad."

"Yeah?"

"Be careful please Dad."

"I will." He walked towards his daughter. "You know I have to stay here, yeah?"

Alexis nodded as he hugged her. "Look after her."

"I will." He smiled as he hugged his only child.

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Kate was aware of the machines beeping around her as the nurse checked them. She really wanted to go home but wasn't sure where home was anymore. The apartment had burnt to the ground and left her with the jacket she had been wearing at the time. _Which belonged to Castle anyway. People seem to want to kill me these days. _She rested a hand on her bandaged abdomen as she saw Castle walk back in the room.

"Hi."

"You ok?"

"Apart from being shot you mean?" Kate sighed as he rolled his eyes.

"Look, there has been a situation."

"Other than this?" She pointed at her heavily bandaged abdomen.

"Yeah." Castle looked around the room. "Yeah, seems Ryan and Esposito are on the way here. Laine sent me like a dozen messages."

"Laine?"

"Yeah she's worried." Castle sat by her bed. "Ryan seems to think Rogers is headed here."

Kate was quiet for a moment as the nurse left the room. She knew that Castle was as worried as she was. She knew Rogers. If he had given the guys the slip he wasnt the type to run away. He would be coming straight for her. She was the one that had got away. She knew he was going to do his best to finish what he had started. She couldn't help but smile slightly as Castle took her hand.

"You know something?"

"What?"

"You should go. Be with Alexis and your Mom."

"No, they are safe. I know that." Castle squeezed her hand.

"Make sure. You go."

"No Detective. I am not leaving you. If this has taught you anything it should be not to be so independant. Not all the time."

"I don't need you to protect me Castle." Kate huffed as she tried and failed to push herself into a sitting position."I am a big girl Castle."

"I know that." He couldn't help but feel angry. She had nearly died. Two people had tried to murder her. First the fire at the apartment and now this. He had no idea why she was being so pig headed. "Maybe I'm here because you do need someone to protect you, no matter what you think."

"Castle!" She winced as he dropped her hand and began pacing the room.

"You know something detective? You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met. And considering both women I was stupid enough to marry that is saying something."

"Castle." Kate tried again.

"No." He shook his head. "You were almost killed. I held you and you were dying Kate. In my arms you were dying." His eyes swam with tears as he looked away.

"I"

"You have no idea. Do you really no idea how much..." He closed his eyes as he looked away from her. Kate's eyes widened as she pressed the nursecall button.

"Castle, please just shut up." Kate's voice dropped. She wished she had her gun. She stared at the figure in the doorway praying that one of the others were on the way.

"What?" Castle's eyes snapped open to see her focusing on the doorway. "Oh."

"Yes. Oh." Rogers answered as he stuck his gun in Castle's ribs.

**A/N Please review. More reviews=faster updates.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer not mine. I do not own Castle.**

**Carry Me Home**

Kate stared at the doorway, hoping that the man with the gun would somehow disappear. That she would wake up in a few minutes and it had all been a bad dream. The adrenaline coursing through her veins hid the pain in her abdomen. She knew then that the man in the door way had arrived to finish what he had started. He was going to kill her. She flicked her eyes towards Castle as his eyes widened in understanding.

"Rogers, put the gun down." Kate was amazed at how calm her voice sounded in her own ears. Castle raised his eyebrows as he took a step towards her.

"I can't do that." Castle closed his eyes as he heard Rogers answer Kate. All he could think was _No! Not here. Not now. _Not for the first time he wished he had a gun.

"Put the gun down." Castle almost yelled. Fear had been replaced by pure unadulterated anger. He had never hated anyone before in his life but he hated the man that had hurt Kate. He turned to face him as he heard footsteps marching towards the room. He could only hope it was his friends from the NYPD. He stared at the man that had suddenly turned the gun from Kate's head towards his own.

"Castle." Kate spoke calmly. "Don't do this."

"Me?" He answered. "I am not doing anything." He smiled slightly as he saw Ryan point a gun at his head.

"Put the gun down. NOW!" Ryan barked as his gun was level at his head.

"No."

"You fire that gun and one of two things is gonna happen." Castle spoke, his back still turned towards Kate. He hoped he was protecting her from the madman but he had a feeling it was still the other way around.

"Yeah." Esposito appeared. "Either you blow us all to Kingdom Come, the oxygen in here is gonna explode when you fire the gun or if that doesn't happen the moment you fire your gun I do the same thing and I kill you. Right here, right now." He watched as Ryan jabbed his gun in Rogers' rib cage as Castle seemed to physically sag in relief. Esposito leaned forward and took the gun from the man and began reading him his rights and formally arrested him. Ryan smiled slightly at the partners in front of him.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." Castle smiled. "Yeah, thanks."

"No problem. Kate?" He turned to his old friend. "Beckett?"

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Laine threw her car into the first car parking space she came to. She had no idea if she was allowed to park there or not. Killing the engine she grabbed her purse from the passenger seat and almost ran from the car through the hospital's Emergency Department entrance. She pushed the door open to the main hospital as the policemen dragged their prisoner towards the exit.

"Laine!" Ryan yelled as she held the door open for them.

"Hi." She raised an eyebrow as he smiled at her. "You ok?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Yeah, it's over. It's finally over."

"Thank God." Laine sighed as she watched Ryan and Esposito drag away the murder suspect that had caused them all so many problems. She shook her head and smiled before walking along the corridor wondering what she was going to find when she reached her friend and the author she had come to think of as part of the furniture.

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Kate smiled slightly as she saw her friends make the arrest. It was over. Castle was alive, Alexis and Martha were both safe and somehow, although how she didn't really understand she was alive. She closed her eyes for a moment as she realised there was no need to be afraid anymore. No one was going to hurt her or the people she cared about.

"Kate?" Castle hadn't realised he had been holding his breath. He smiled slightly as he turned to see her dressed in a hospital gown and leaning against the edge of the bed. She rested a hand over her heavily bandaged abdomen. The smile dropped as he realised she was grimacing in pain as the colour drained from her. "Oh my, Kate." He was at her side in seconds as she drew in a heavy breath.

"We got him."

"Yeah. Yes we did." He smiled slightly as he rested an arm around her shoulders. "You ok?"

"Yeah." She gasped the word out through gritted teeth.

"You don't look it." He pulled the blanket and sheet back on the bed as he saw the colour drain from her face.

"Castle." She rolled her eyes he spoke.

"Kate, don't do this. Don't start all this I am fine routine again. You can ask for help you know. It is allowed." He watched as she met his eyes.

"I." She felt the tears spring to her eyes as the nurse walked into the room, finally allowed to attend to her patient now the police officers had told her it was safe to enter the room.

"Oh." She approached the bed and began helping Castle settle Kate back. "It looks like you have burst a stitch of two. I'll have to change the dressing and get the doctor to check you over, but you should be just fine." The middle aged woman smiled as she saw the relief cross Castle's face. "And you stop worrying, your girlfriend here is going to be just fine." The soft texan accent made Kate smile. Then she realised what the older woman had said and immediately began to panic. Castle held her hand and smiled as the nurse left the room to locate the doctor.

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Alexis grabbed the cell phone from the nightstand the moment it had rung. She had been desperate to hear what had happened at the hospital. She knew Kate had been in trouble but she had no idea if it was really over. Martha sat on the edge of the teenager's bed as she watched her granddaughter answer the call.

"Ok Dad." She paused as she avoided her grandmother's eye. "I'll tell her. Yeah. Ok. And um Dad?"

Martha smiled slightly, she had an idea that things were settling down. She knew her grandchild well enough to know what was going on in her eyes.

"I love you too Dad. Oh tell Kate." She smiled as Martha raised an eyebrow. "Tell her to take care and we'll see her soon yeah? Ok bye!"

"So?" Martha watched as the smile crept across Alexis' face.

"So, it's ok. I think it's ok."

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"When can I get out of here?" Kate stared at Castle. For the first time since she had been rushed to the hospital she realised how tired Castle actually looked.

"Soon." He smiled as he felt her touch his hand. "You have to get well first."

"They got the bullet out."

"I know."

"How soon can I get out of here?"

"Not long, in a few days. You just have to heal. Laine has been trying to get hold of your Dad."

"Castle, she'll never find him. Dad is a bit of a recluse. He's travelling in Europe."

"Oh." He shook his head as he touched her hand. The idea of not being there when his daughter needed him filled him with horror. He had no idea how Kate's father would feel when he found out his only daughter had been in hospital because someone had wanted to kill her.

"Castle, look at me." Kate waited as he dragged his eyes up to hers. "I am fine. I will be fine." He screwed his eyes shut as a tear threatened to fall.

"Honestly." He paused as he gathered his thoughts. He knew the last time he had felt this awful was when he had seriously considered ending their partnership. He knew now that was just jealousy. Although at the time he didn't know why. "Honestly, you say you are fine. And that's great. I know you are going to be ok. I know that."

"Rick." Castle wiped at his eyes as Kate stared at him. Her brown eyes full of concern as he avoided her gaze. He knew she was scared, there was only a handful of times she had used his first name.

"Thing is. Well, the thing is. I'm not." He stopped "I'm not fine. And I am glad you are going to be. Don't get me wrong. I am glad you are getting well but I can't do this. I can't do this."

"You can't do what?" Kate was suddenly very nervous. Rogers had been caught. He knew about her past with her ex fiance. There was nothing else to be scared of, not now.

"Can't sit here and pretend everything is as it was. I love you and I nearly lost you and now that you are going to be ok you are pushing me away again. I held you in my arms and you were bleeding Kate. I thought you were going to die and I was terrified and now you act as if everything is just the same. Well it isn't not for me anyway." He paused as she shook her head slightly.

"Castle."

"No." He subconsciously checked behind him for mad gunmen. "No. Listen to me. I can't do this anymore. If you insist on being alone. On being Miss Idependent all the Goddamn time I will leave. I'll have to because I can't just sit by and watch you get hurt."

"We're partners"

"Maybe. Maybe I won't write anymore. There are other things to do with my life that don't involve holding the woman I love in my arms after a psycho has shot her." He wiped another tear. "You did all this on your own before the Mayor dumped me into your life. You'll do it again." He pushed his chair away as he dropped her hand. Kate was dumbfounded. This was it. It was over. For a moment she wished she had died. It couldn't hurt as much as she was hurting now. "Maybe I should just let you get on being Miss Independent. You obviously don't need me."

"Castle."

He walked to the door as Kate struggled to think of a way to let him know that she needed him. That she didn't want to break up the partnership. To break up them.

"Bye Detective." He touched the doorhandle as Kate flung the bedclothes from her legs and stood up. She knew she was risking her wound opening again but she didn't care.

"Rick! Please!" She was on the verge of tears as he turned to face her. "Don't go please."

"Why?" Castle held her gaze. Every instinct in his body made him want to run to her side but he knew he couldn't. There was no way she would want him to.

"Because." She wanted to blurt out all the reasons she wanted him to stay but she bit her lip.

"I thought so." He sighed. "Take care Kate."

"Don't leave me." Kate cursed herself as the words slipped from her tongue.

He took a step towards her.

"Why?"

"I can't do this on my own. I need you." She watched as he brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "I love you."

Castle said nothing else. Smiling slightly he touched her lips with his own. Kate's eyes slipped closed as she felt him touch her cheek.

"Get some rest." He ushered her back to bed. "If I am going to get you home you have to get well." He watched as she blushed.

"Home Castle?"

He nodded. For a moment as Kate stared in to his tear filled eyes she thought she was already there.

**A/N as if I would kill her! Or Castle. Never gonna happen. Please review. I think there is just one more chapter after this. :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer not mine. I do not own Castle.**

**The End of the Beginning.**

_Six Weeks Later..._

Kate did not want to get out of bed. She lay curled on her side as the sun streamed through the blinds at the window. She kept her eyes closed as she heard the usual sounds of people around her getting ready for the day ahead. There was nothing to get up for. It was too early and Captain Montgomery didn't want her back until the doctor had signed her off so that she was offically fit for duty. At the time she had been mad but right now she was glad she didn't have to get up.

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"Dad!" Alexis stole a piece of toast from his plate. He frowned and mock glared at her as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Alexis, do not talk with your mouth full."

"Sorry." Alexis laughed, anything but. "You know something?"

"Many things. Alot of them useless but very interesting. You know some people can lick their own elbows? See I know things like that." He picked up the remaining piece of toast before she could steal the remains of his breakfast.

"You know I asked you what being in love was?"

Castle paused. He hated to think of his little girl having an interest in boys. He knew she was almost sixteen but to him she would always be his baby girl. The fact she was growing up was something he was not enjoying.

"I remember." He paused, remembering both Kate and his mother telling him to accept she was going to ask him things like this.

"I think I know now." She smiled as he did a very good impression of a goldfish. "You and Kate. It's different with her isn't it? I know you said you loved Mom and then Gina but you are different with Kate. It's the real deal isn't it?"

"Yeah." Castle smiled slightly. "Yeah it is."

Alexis smiled broadly before kissing her father's cheek.

"Good. I'm glad. Just don't do anything stupid." She warned before grabbing her books and heading off towards the school bus.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Don't do anything stupid." He shook his head slightly as he repeated his daughter's words. He stood in the doorway of his bedroom watching the sleeping detective as he realised how lucky they were to have a second chance.

"Hey." Kate opened her eyes as she tried to stay awake. "You ok Castle?"

"Me?" He walked towards her. "I'm fine. Mother is at dress rehersals all day. New play she is in opens next week and Alexis has just gone to school."

"You have to get the next chapter of the book to the publisher today." She watched as he nodded before sitting on the bed next to her. He brushed a strand of brown unruly hair away from her face.

"Yeah."

"So why are you here? Go do some work."

"It can wait." He kissed her gently on the lips before she pulled back and rested her forehead against his.

"Stop worrying about me."

"Never." He kissed her again. "Never going to happen."

"Rick." He closed his eyes as he felt her begin to unbutton his shirt. "I'll be back at work soon."

"And I'll start writing then. The new book."

She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her. She couldn't quite believe what had happened between them since the night in the hospital. Frankie Rogers would go on trial for murder and attempted murder in the next few weeks but she knew she didn't want to go back to the way things had been between them before Rogers had disrupted her life.

"You will?" She was relieved. It seemed until then Castle had been determined to finish the book he was on and leave writing.

"Yeah. Another Nikki Heat novel. I guess I still have alot more research to do for the next book."

"You have done enough research to write a million books." She rested a hand on his cheek as his eyes fluttered closed.

"Anyone would think you don't want me around anymore Detective." He turned his face to kiss her palm as she smiled slightly.

"I always want you around Castle." She watched as he opened his eyes. "What do you think I am? Miss Independent?" Castle smiled slightly as he kissed her, determined to show her that he was never ever going to leave her again.

**A/N Ok that really is it. I may write more Castle. Please review one last time. Thank you again for all the positive feedback and constructive advice I recieved on this story xx**


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